Monday, January 23, 2012

Fifty ways to leave your lover

Dear Illana Gershon,

Reading your piece, “Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover” was particularly interesting to me. The media ideologies and second order information you discussed are very weird to think about yet true in many cases. It is interesting how using different mediums to communicate can portray a different message but it is sensitive to each individual person. Although there is so much variation between people, especially of different generations, many times people still manage to find a way to communicate effectively. But there are also many times when there is a mismatch of understanding, like your example of Doug and Halle. When people violate the expectations/ideologies, especially when two people have established a common understanding for a particular medium, it can cause a lot of confusion.

People can also communicate through other cues in messages like second order information. For example, if you reply k versus okay, some may read the first as a displeased response. In my opinion, I believe you can almost compare written cues of mediated communication to nonverbal communication. Although someone may not come out and write I do not like xyz, they can do so through responses that convey a particular feeling.

You said that people have “outrage, injustice and grievance in terms of how someone had ended a relationship, not that the relationship was ending” (22). I believe this outrage may come from a lack of respect they feel their partner has for them. If someone ends a relationship over a text message or phone call, it shows they do not want to take the time to fully explain what/why the relationship is ending. Also, I feel as though it may make it easier for that person to leave because they do not have to deal with the face-to-face reaction. However it is also interesting to think how text messaging requires a responses versus the nodding man saying nothing. I know I can sometimes articulate what I need to say more effectively using text messaging because you have time to think and respond and you are also not interrupted (as much).

Overall I believe the points you bring up in this article are interesting and complex. Many people have different ideologies of what things mean when using different mediums. I feel as though it is hard to pin point different perspectives to people of particular demographics since every individual person is different. However I think a further exploration of this would be very interesting.


Jamie Cann

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