Full Circle

Dear Ilana Gershon,

Your article really made me think about technology and how we use it to interact with people especially during breakups. I have on multiple occasions got into serious fights, or ended a relationship through either phone calls or text messages. The story you told about Halle really resonated with me because I have been told that it is hard to tell when I am kidding or being serious especially in text messages. One of my goals in life is to master the art of sarcasm and unfortunately that does not always come through in text messages. Just like Doug towards the end of the story, I always seem to confuse people with things I say. Because of how impersonal technology can be a times, it is hard to get a read on how the conversation is going and if you are actually getting your point across. If people were to have a break up conversation face to face, they would be able to see each other’s expressions and emotions and understand the conversation better. Without the knowledge of whether a person is smiling or crying as they say something really throws off the whole vibe of the conversation.

Looking at things from Halle’s point of view I thought that the way Doug told her was somewhat wrong. Maybe information like that should not be conveyed through text messages that are often so hard to understand properly. But then you explained how Halle was so confused/hurt by the way Doug did things that she cut off all communication with him right away. Maybe I’m a terrible person but isn’t that the point of a break up anyway? No one likes those break ups where both parties still talk and try to be friends but just end up getting jealous and into more fights then they did when they were together. If breaking up with people electronically is going to lead straight to the “Lets never talk again” road I’m all for it. No detours. No prolonging the obvious.

I also whole heartedly agree with the fact that texting is the way to go. You pointed out that the women you talked to say the people they exchange numbers with are only for texting purposes. This idea is fantastic. Because through text messages you’re never put on the spot, you have time to think about what you say before you respond, and you can get away with things in text message format that you can’t get away with verbally. Saying things like “you’re so hot and I would do terrible things to you” verbally probably gets you physically hurt. Saying the same thing through text messages probably gets you one of the smiley face responses. So if text messaging or other electronic communication starts the relationship, I see no reason why it can’t end the relationship. Let’s bring everything full circle. 

KJ